The last four months have been a series of choices…..choices to choose trust over fear. It began with taking our pregnancy test. Being friends with some dear ladies who have either lost precious little ones or who long for them but are unable to have them, puts a different perspective on having my own. It is not a blessing to be taken for granted (as if we should take any blessing for granted), but rather an event to be received with gratitude and to be held with a loose grasp.
Knowing that every pregnancy carries its natural risks, and that life is never guaranteed to any of us, I was fearful to make the news public….afraid in case something went ‘wrong’. Gently, the Lord whispered….”Trust me”.
With each step of telling people at school or at church, my fear battled my trust. I kept fearing the what if’s, while the Lord kept whispering the ‘trust me’s’.
What if I tell people at school, then you take the baby to Heaven? Trust me.
What if I post our ‘announcement’ on social media, to immediately follow it with a sad one? Trust me.
What about the risk of SIDS? What about all the other possible things that could go wrong? Continually, the Lord whispers…..’Trust me. Trust me that no matter what happens I will walk through it with you. Trust me that through the mountains and valleys, you will not go it alone. Trust me that I have a purpose that I want to accomplish in your life through every situation you go through. Trust me, that nothing is a surprise to me. Trust me.”
Somehow with all my vast four months of experience (ha!), I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of learning to trust God for this little one.