Those eyes…

When you look into someone’s eyes, what do you see?  Is your vision of them colored by their behavior that day?  Do you only see their messes?

So often, it is easy to simply see my frustration when I see my little ones.  I see the water all over the floor dripped from the pet water dish, or the piles of cat food left as “treats” for the kitties, or the toys strewn everywhere from our imaginary play. I smell the fifth dirty diaper of the day, or feel my hunger as my lunch still sits..now cold…. on the counter.  I hear the baby starting to cry…..again….
But those eyes……

When I look into those eyes…..nothing else matters. I don’t see the messes, the dishes, the piles.  I just see my child. When I see those eyes, I see the one I carried for over 9 months. The one I puked for, cried for, ached for, cared for, bled for, and pray for.  Those eyes shine forth with love and complete trust.
They melt me every time. 
So often we feel that when God looks at us, He just sees our mess. He just sees our jealous attitude, ungrateful heart, and selfish spirit.  And while that’s true…..as God cannot overlook sin in all it’s ugliness and rebelliousness.  He cannot be close to it in all His holiness.
But you know what He also sees?
Our eyes. 
When He looks at you, He sees his child.  The one He made, the one He ached for, the one He pleads with, and the one He bled and died for. His eyes are constantly on us…..but not in condemnation.

Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.”

Psalm 33:18 “Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, On those who hope for His lovingkindness,”

And this is one my of favorites: “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17 

Did you read that?  He takes delight in you!  He sings about you!

The next time you look into your little one’s eyes or the eyes of someone dear to you, remember how God looks at you.  He has gone over and above any sacrifice we’ve done for another. He’s given everything for us, and extended an undeserved invitation to an eternal relationship with Him!  And when He looks at us……He doesn’t look with condemnation.  He doesn’t focus on our mess. 


He sees our eyes…..                 

He sees His child. 

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Seeing Past the Present

Being a mom of two little ones is exhausting and I give much applause to those ahead of me on this journey with more kids than I do. Someone asked me recently how I do it. How do I survive the tantrums, the simultaneous crying, the constant requests for ‘mo num num’ (more food) and fits that follow if requests are denied?

I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t have super strength.  There’s a 24 pack of Cherry Coke sitting on my dryer reserved for weary kid days.  When my husband sees one out, he knows what kind of day it’s been.  He’ll come home, look me in the eyes and say, “Yep, you’re done.”.  There are days where the only goal for the day is keep the children alive, cause not much else will get done.  When I just want to cry cause I’m tired, but I don’t want to go to bed because  I want to enjoy this quiet moment with the man I married (but hardly see as we are each assigned a kid each night) and have an adult conversation.  Plus, I know that I’ll need to wake up and go through the regular morning ’emergency room’  routine again of everyone being so hungry they just can’t function.

 

How do I do it?

Well, clearly Jesus has to be at the top of the list.  He probably actually invented everything on my list of coping strategies right?  I mean…..he did make cherries…..for Cherry Coke, right?

But,seriously, one of the main things He’s helped me realize is I can’t fixate on the present.   If I stay fixed on the present I’ll just see cracker crumbs, toddler emotions, little hands getting in the way, and lots of messes.

But that’s not forever.   

I remember when she was just learning to walk.  Now she uses her miniature broom to  ‘help’ me sweep.  One day, she will sweep a house of her own.  I remember when she could only say “kitty’.  Now she uses all the words in her vocabulary (plus a lot I don’t understand) to try to communicate her wants and convince us of her plans.  One day, she will influence the world through her written and spoken language. I remember when her little hands were just learning to grab things.  Now she can fetch needed items and clean up her toys. One day, her hands will rescue others, grow food, write books, serve her neighbor, etc.

The present can be overwhelming at times. Especially if you don’t see much fruit from your labor that day.  But the present is temporary and passes quickly.

I’m thankful the Lord sees my finished product and doesn’t give up on my present condition.

Philippians 1:6(NIV)

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Since I know I’m still in process, it gives me more grace to give to my little ones in process.   Just as I ‘tag along’ with Jesus to learn from his example, they follow me around (and never leave me alone for a moment) because they are learning from mine.  

 

Lord, please help me see past the present.  Help me to see your story for their lives and your goals for them. Please help me give them the grace you pour on me as you continue the ‘good work’ you’ve begun in me.

 

Because, today her little hands are trying to press all the buttons on this computer while I type, but one day she will send her own message to the world. 

“Friendship is not for the faint of heart.”

We usually think of ‘courage’ as referring to knights fighting to defend a castle, soldiers fighting for God and country, or the super hero working to protect Earth from yet another mean villain.  Those are all forms of courage at the highest level. But what if I told you there’s a form of common everyday courage that we are invited to participate in each day.

“Friendship is not for the faint of heart” is one of many quotes I have highlighted as I processed through Lisa-Jo Baker’s new book Never Unfriended.  As no two people are ever completely alike, there exists the adventure of figuring out likes/dislikes, introvert/extrovert, personality types, family background, communication style, etc. With so many variations, it is inevitable that at some point there will be misunderstanding, hurt feelings, or unmet expectations given time.

The question is, what will we do when that happens?  Will we resort to living in a cave of isolation due to our friendship PTSD?  Will we never conquer our fear of being the new person, that we never courageously attempt new community?  Will we allow the Enemy, Satan, to keep replaying that bitter moment in our head like an old song stuck on repeat?

Those all sound like simply sad endings to a movie. One where you hold the tissue box and end it feeling bummed as you watch the hero pack away his cape, never to fight again.

Friendship takes courage.  It also takes mercy, forgiveness, communication, and a commitment to the other’s best interest.  But last I checked my supply tank, I don’t think I have enough to go around. What then?

The premise of Lisa’s book is that we don’t have to muster up the courage all on our own like a puffer fish gulping down seawater to make itself look bigger and less like prey.

We can friend others…..because of Jesus.

Jesus is our living example of the best friendship.  He constantly pours mercy and forgiveness into me, and He wrote me a book to communicate his thoughts to me. And that dying on the cross?  Yah, that pretty much is the top example of courage and a commitment to my best interest. There is nothing in friendship that He calls me to, that He didn’t experience Himself.   Betrayal?  Got it. Misunderstanding?  Tons of them.  I said HIS communication was great…but I can’t say so much for some who heard him.

With Jesus, we are Never Unfriended.  He doesn’t do the leaving. We do. ( but that wouldn’t be a good idea)

He gives us the mercy, the forgiveness, the commitment needed to courageously continue in friendships through bumps, misunderstandings, and awkward situations.

It’ll take courage. It’s worth it.

Cause we’ll never be unfriended…..

     By Him.

                                                  

 

All the Pretty Things: a book review

In All the Pretty Things, Edie Wadsworth narrates her life story coupled with moments of self-reflection and insights that can only be gained in retrospect. Growing up in the Appalachian area to a father who loved her (but was governed by the bottle more) and to a mother who tried her best to raise her as a single parent struggling to make ends meet, Edie saw more things in her early years than a child should.

She desperately longed for her father’s love, even as she had to take charge to cover for him as he waged a war with alcohol. Through out her life, father type figures crossed her path and showed her another way of life. Through the example of these men and many others, Edie came to know the only Father who will never leave you.

The rest of the story is an account of Edie’s struggle to stop fighting against her upbringing, and striving for this illusion of ‘normal’, and instead to allow her Heavenly Father to redeem her broken places and make her whole again.

While this book was not one of my favorites due to the genre and generally sad (but true to life) events, Edie masterfully combined facts and personal reflections. I also enjoyed her redemptive ending and appreciated her honesty. I received this book as part of the blogger review program through Tyndale House Publishers Inc., however the views expressed in this review are mine.